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The human mouth cannot smile that big. 
This is supposed to be the normal smile. But no one sane flashes his/her teeth like that oat a frequency of 1/ 1.8s.
This is supposed to be the normal frown face. Instead there are some black dots drawn incorrectly onto a yellow face. 
Just getting ready for a penis.
This is not shock; this is a medical disorder.
Please don't use this. It's making fun of the blind.
When I laugh, I hope to God that I do not look like this.
This is either anger or constipated on a merry go round.
Oops? You type oops to make this horror pop up on your screen. I think the oops refers to its creation.
He's crying because of an onion, hence the constant blinking.
Is this evil incarnate? Or a silly tiny drawing? 
The last one was called evil, and this one is twisted. What's the difference? Fuck if I know.
If you're exasperated with an idiotic post, you use "roll". Unless I'm confusing this with the emoticon to signify how you took so many drugs your pupils have dilated to a dangerous diameter. 
If you're hitting on a stranger online, you can just use semi-colon parenthesis. This is for all you perverts out there.
I'm ... not sure why this is here. A person's face is replaced with an exclamation mark. Was this in a David Lynch movie? I haven't seen all of his yet.
Sometimes when I have a question, I simply ask it instead of posting a pointless emoticon.
Without knowing the text behind the emoticon as "idea", I would have no idea this was a light bulb. 
You know how arrows are useful? When most of the time you can't see them because they're rotating around a sphere.
He looks more worried than neutral. FAILURE.
This one is simply face. Aren't all of these faces, you ask yourself? Yep. What's the point of a face that looks like a serial killer ripped off the eyes and teeth from his victim? I guess when you need to ardently defend your favorite TV episode you need drastic measures. 
Why's the star blue? 
This is suspect. I assume you use it when you're wanted for a heinous crime or something. It looks like a ninja. So all ninja are devious assholes? Whatever, racist. 
Dear god, if my heart was that color and shape with those holes I'd be a stale corpse on the ground. ANIMATED HEARTS ARE RED YOU IDIOTS.
This is simply no. Indeed, emoticon, indeed....
This is the @ symbol for absolutely no reason. If you can find a use for it, I'm dubbing you the MacGyver of the message board. 
A cyclops with a popping eye? Yeah that's useful.
This is not a clown. Maybe it's a simple mistake. I'll check the manual.(To be continued later when I hate myself and want to waste my own time.)
Last edited by Capt. Blicero on Mon Nov 26, 2012 5:18 am; edited 1 time in total
Capt., 
This one is just called Cheers. I do kind of think that show would be better if Cliff Clavin had arms for ears, so WELL PLAYED, EMOTICON.
This is supposed to be a cherry, but it looks like there's a straw lodged in this guy's head, sucked out his blood.
Dear god, I'd rather not look at this horrific castaway from Dr. Moreau's island.
It says it's a geek, but it looks more like the end result of a lobotomy.
This is clearly a demon child (with a bubble maker installed at the top of his head), not someone who's drunk.
I think this guy's afro is at least three times bigger than his head. It's a miracle he can support it.
Looks more like a very sunburnt Homer Simpson than a monkey. 
This guy is about five seconds from being complete mush. Is this meant to convey feelings that terrorists are planning to blow you up?
That'll do, emoticon. That'll do.