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    A comprehensive review of our stupid emoticons.

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    Capt. Blicero
    Captain

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    A comprehensive review of our stupid emoticons.

    Post by Capt. Blicero on Mon Nov 26, 2012 3:43 am

    Very Happy The human mouth cannot smile that big.
    Smile This is supposed to be the normal smile. But no one sane flashes his/her teeth like that oat a frequency of 1/ 1.8s.
    Sad This is supposed to be the normal frown face. Instead there are some black dots drawn incorrectly onto a yellow face.
    Surprised Just getting ready for a penis.
    Shocked This is not shock; this is a medical disorder.
    Cool Please don't use this. It's making fun of the blind.
    Laughing When I laugh, I hope to God that I do not look like this.
    Mad This is either anger or constipated on a merry go round.
    Embarassed Oops? You type oops to make this horror pop up on your screen. I think the oops refers to its creation.
    Crying or Very sad He's crying because of an onion, hence the constant blinking.
    Evil or Very Mad Is this evil incarnate? Or a silly tiny drawing?
    Twisted Evil The last one was called evil, and this one is twisted. What's the difference? Fuck if I know.
    Rolling Eyes If you're exasperated with an idiotic post, you use "roll". Unless I'm confusing this with the emoticon to signify how you took so many drugs your pupils have dilated to a dangerous diameter.
    Wink If you're hitting on a stranger online, you can just use semi-colon parenthesis. This is for all you perverts out there.
    Exclamation I'm ... not sure why this is here. A person's face is replaced with an exclamation mark. Was this in a David Lynch movie? I haven't seen all of his yet.
    Question Sometimes when I have a question, I simply ask it instead of posting a pointless emoticon.
    Idea Without knowing the text behind the emoticon as "idea", I would have no idea this was a light bulb.
    Arrow You know how arrows are useful? When most of the time you can't see them because they're rotating around a sphere.
    Neutral He looks more worried than neutral. FAILURE.
    What a Face This one is simply face. Aren't all of these faces, you ask yourself? Yep. What's the point of a face that looks like a serial killer ripped off the eyes and teeth from his victim? I guess when you need to ardently defend your favorite TV episode you need drastic measures.
    Like a Star @ heaven Why's the star blue?
    Suspect This is suspect. I assume you use it when you're wanted for a heinous crime or something. It looks like a ninja. So all ninja are devious assholes? Whatever, racist.
    I love you Dear god, if my heart was that color and shape with those holes I'd be a stale corpse on the ground. ANIMATED HEARTS ARE RED YOU IDIOTS.
    No This is simply no. Indeed, emoticon, indeed....
    @ This is the @ symbol for absolutely no reason. If you can find a use for it, I'm dubbing you the MacGyver of the message board.
    cyclops A cyclops with a popping eye? Yeah that's useful.
    clown This is not a clown. Maybe it's a simple mistake. I'll check the manual.

    (To be continued later when I hate myself and want to waste my own time.)


    Last edited by Capt. Blicero on Mon Nov 26, 2012 5:18 am; edited 1 time in total
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    affrosponge88
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    Re: A comprehensive review of our stupid emoticons.

    Post by affrosponge88 on Mon Nov 26, 2012 3:53 am

    This is the greatest off-topic post yet. I'm glad you contributed, and I value you as a person.
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    Stephen77

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    Re: A comprehensive review of our stupid emoticons.

    Post by Stephen77 on Mon Nov 26, 2012 9:14 am

    Shocked = Marty Feldman?
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    UnregisteredGuyNamedEric

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    Re: A comprehensive review of our stupid emoticons.

    Post by UnregisteredGuyNamedEric on Mon Nov 26, 2012 9:08 pm

    lol! Capt., lol!

    Emoticon Trolling...oh, it's happening.
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    UnregisteredGuyNamedEric

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    Re: A comprehensive review of our stupid emoticons.

    Post by UnregisteredGuyNamedEric on Mon Nov 26, 2012 9:11 pm

    P.S.: Sad old Babar could never understand why the Elephant Kingdom elected Ol' Cornelius Penisnose ahead of him as King.

    elephant

    Especially after Cornelius spent the entire budget on an Ice Palace skating rink. "We're in Africa," said Babar. "No one fucking skates."
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    Spazophie

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    Re: A comprehensive review of our stupid emoticons.

    Post by Spazophie on Tue Nov 27, 2012 8:18 pm

    cheers This one is just called Cheers. I do kind of think that show would be better if Cliff Clavin had arms for ears, so WELL PLAYED, EMOTICON.
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    affrosponge88
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    Re: A comprehensive review of our stupid emoticons.

    Post by affrosponge88 on Tue Nov 27, 2012 8:19 pm

    Spazophie wrote: cheers This one is just called Cheers. I do kind of think that show would be better if Cliff Clavin had arms for ears, so WELL PLAYED, EMOTICON.

    I'm glad you joined, Spaz. No one can fill the Spaz-shaped void in a forum's heart like you can.
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    UnregisteredGuyNamedEric

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    Re: A comprehensive review of our stupid emoticons.

    Post by UnregisteredGuyNamedEric on Tue Nov 27, 2012 9:49 pm

    Yeah, I'm glad Spazophie's here, and that she wasn't driven away into madness by our tragic feuding and ranting.

    Or was that SPAZOPHELIA?

    (Get thee to a punnery....)
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    The Narrator Returns

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    Re: A comprehensive review of our stupid emoticons.

    Post by The Narrator Returns on Tue Nov 27, 2012 10:01 pm

    cherry This is supposed to be a cherry, but it looks like there's a straw lodged in this guy's head, sucked out his blood.
    rendeer Dear god, I'd rather not look at this horrific castaway from Dr. Moreau's island.
    geek It says it's a geek, but it looks more like the end result of a lobotomy.
    drunken This is clearly a demon child (with a bubble maker installed at the top of his head), not someone who's drunk.
    afro I think this guy's afro is at least three times bigger than his head. It's a miracle he can support it.
    monkey Looks more like a very sunburnt Homer Simpson than a monkey.
    bom This guy is about five seconds from being complete mush. Is this meant to convey feelings that terrorists are planning to blow you up?
    pig That'll do, emoticon. That'll do.

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    Re: A comprehensive review of our stupid emoticons.

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